8 Tips for Accepting the New You in Pregnancy | Ep. 08
This week on the Learning To Mom Podcast, I get really vulnerable and share my story on how I worked to accept myself during pregnancy. I share 8 tips on how YOU can accept yourself in pregnancy.
This week’s episode:
Happy Monday mom friend!
Quick question.. I’m curious.. Have you been struggling to accept this new you in pregnancy? Are you wondering how to accept your pregnancy in general? Well.. if yes, buckle up friend- this episode is for you!
Today I’ll be sharing 8 tips on how to accept this new you as you navigate pregnancy and prepare for MOTHERHOOD.
Even if this pregnancy was planned or even if you’ve tried for YEARS for this pregnancy, you probably have experienced difficulty accepting this “new” you… from accepting the reality that you’re going to be a mom, to accepting your new and every body, to accepting your priorities are changing, to accepting your relationships with people around you are changing… Know that you’re not alone in feeling this way.
It’s a lot. Pregnancy is a lot.
To share with you MY story in all this and share how I relate to this topic so much..
I had a very difficult time accepting the new Laila. I mean one- Pregnancy was a surprise and not something that I was desiring at the time. So I had a hard time accepting that I was pregnant. I had a hard time accepting my new body while all my friends looked amazing still in their swimsuits. I had a hard time accepting the role as mother already. I felt like Matthew still got 9 months to prepare to be dad. He had 9 months before he was REALLY impacted (which is not true, it’s just the way I viewed it at the time because I wasn’t in a healthy place). My life was IMMEDIATELY impacted- no more going out with friends and having fun because I was exhausted and nauseous and plus I couldn’t drink. No more fitting into my old clothes. I also felt like I couldn’t ever forget that I was pregnant, right? So our pregnancy was a stressful time for both Matthew and I, and I thought it would be easier for Matthew because he was at least able to forget about that reality for a little while. Like even for a few hours on Saturday at the golf course. But my body was CONSTANTLY reminding me of the reality of our situation which was hard.
So all of that to say, I had a very hard time accepting the new me. Accepting what was happening to me in pregnancy and accepting that I was going to be a MOM in 9 months.
So I hope you know that I understand where you’re coming from and i’m here for you. I hope these 8 tips that I learned by going through it myself will help you.
Now.. without further ado.. Here are 8 Tips for Accepting the New You in Pregnancy
Number 1
You have to come to the realization that this pregnancy was meant to be and that you were meant for it. In my life, I had to trust God doesn’t make mistakes. Know that this life growing inside of you is purposefully there and you were chosen to carry this life. Right here. Right now. The You NOW is ready for this and CAN do this. You, with your specific level of education, with your specific story, your current relationship status, your current and changing body, you right here right now is meant for this and chosen for this. That’s not to say to just roll over and play dead or just accept wherever you are in life, whether that be financially, relationally, emotionally or whatever, but I’m just trying to tell you that accepting this new YOU will be a lot easier when you realize that you were CALLED to do this, there is a much deeper purpose here.
Number 2
You have to embrace your new body. We each have different relationships with our bodies to begin with, but I think most pregnant women can all agree on is that they are not 100% fans of their bodies during pregnancy. Whether that be cause they now have stretch marks or the pregnancy nose or that their feet grew two sizes.. We all have our issues. For me, accepting my new pregnant body got a lot easier when instead of sulking about how I couldn’t fit into my old jeans, instead of comparing my body to other women and even my pre-pregnancy body, instead, I had to think about how absolutely AMAZING- and forgive my french, BADASS my body is. It’s creating ORGANS. It’s forming DNA. It’s feeding a whole new life inside of me. You’ll have an easier time accepting this new you when you realize how incredibly powerful your body is and when you realize that YOU are a freaking superwoman.
Number 3
You have to nurture your emotional well-being. With pregnancy hormones everywhere, one second you feel amazing and the next you're sobbing your eyes out. It’s difficult. Add that ontop of perhaps your mixed feelings about being pregnant and being a mother soon, it can be a lot. So take care of yourself. Allow yourself to feel those emotions. Ride out those emotions, don’t just hide them. You’ll feel better acknowledging them and working through them. Even seek help from a psychologist or therapist, that’s one thing I wish I did because I think that would have helped me tremendously. If this tip is peaking your interest, I encourage you to listen to podcast episode 5 after this, “Prenatal Depression: Causes, Signs and Treatment.”
Number 4
You have to re-think your identity. So often we place our identities into WHAT we do, and even what our interests are instead of WHO WE ARE. Allow yourself to explore this change and redefine what it means to be you. EMBRACE the role of a nurturer, and a source of life. Recognize that your worth extends WAY beyond societal expectations or CONVENTIONAL notions of beauty. Yes, parenthood might change what you DO because it changes your priorities, but it doesn’t change who you are. Embracing the new you means embracing the strength, resilience, and love that pregnancy brings into your life.
Number 5
This one may only be applicable if you are a woman of faith, but I encourage you to PRAY for a change of heart. For me, I had to PRAY that the Lord would help me accept myself. I also grew a lot closer to Mother Mary. Which for those of you who don’t know my Catholicism story, I grew up protestant and converted to Catholicism when I was 18 years old, so because of my protestant upbringing, I never was very close to Mary- even once I converted. But the Lord really used pregnancy to let me grow closer to His Mother which was beautiful. Mary knew a thing or two about ACCEPTING God’s will, about being a YOUNG mother, about being pregnant before she had probably planned to be. The Lord let my pregnancy grow me closer to his mother, thus closer to Him and that was really special.
Number 6
You have to learn how to let things go that you can’t change. You might not be able to change your maternity leave policy, you can’t change how many more weeks of pregnancy you have.. The lists go on and on. For me personally, I had to learn to let go these kinds of things: I couldn’t change when Myla was conceived. I couldn’t change how people thought of me now. I couldn’t change if people were gossiping about me and my reputation was being changed. I just had to learn to let that all go. To focus on the things that I COULD change instead and that really was my attitude which mostly I did by focusing on more positive thoughts. I continued to think of the serenity prayer, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Number 7
PLAN AHEAD. Let me tell you, It’s much easier to ACCEPT this new you and ACCEPT this new reality when you feel more equipped to handle it. When you have more things in place. It’s easier said than done, and depending on your situation, some things can be planned and some can’t. But even the little planning of thinking through baby names can help. In Matthew’s and I’s case, we planned a LOT and we accomplished A LOT in those in 9 months. We got engaged, got married, bought a house, got a safer car to transport a baby, he got a new job, he moved to Indy, we set up the nursery, figured out childcare… we figured out and planned out a lot. And that helped tremendously because I felt more confident and prepared for our new reality rather than just flying by the seat of my pants.
Number 8
And lastly… You have to learn to forgive yourself. Maybe you need to forgive yourself for not being more careful and getting pregnant, or maybe you need to forgive yourself for not being more excited and thrilled for this pregnancy, or maybe you need to forgive yourself for how you’ve let your emotions get the best of you lately and you’ve been mean. Personally, I’m not quite sure HOW exactly I forgave myself. I think it was slow, it didn’t just happen overnight, it took every bit of 9 months to get there. I had to constantly give myself grace, not just forgiving myself for GETTING pregnant, but also forgiving myself for finding pregnancy so difficult. For forgiving myself when I spoke harshly about my body or when I would complain about not wanting to be a mom yet.
Accepting the new you isn’t linear, you’ll feel great some days and horrible on other days. But hopefully, over time, you will look back at how you USED to feel and realize just how far you’ve come.
I want to just let you know that as cliche as it is, I am proud of you. If this pregnancy was planned, long awaited or a surprise- each pregnancy comes with it’s own challenges. It’s own emotional and physical difficulties. So wherever you are in the process of accepting yourself, know that i’m proud of you for working to accept it because you deserve to be accepted by yourself.
