Secure Attachment Between Parents and Babies

On episode 65 of the Learning to Mom Podcast, I sat down with Eli Harwood, founder of the Attachment Nerd Cast, to discuss secure attachment and how that is formed. During our discussion, we dove deep into the importance of secure attachment, including its impact on babies.

Eager to know more? Tune into episode 65 of the Learning to Mom Podcast, “Essential Steps For Creating a Secure Attachment with Your Baby from Eli Harwood,” to learn how you can be closer to your baby!

Now, here are some important tips & tricks for creating that secure attachment!

Connecting with Baby

First off, caregiving is essential for your baby’s growth. Not just physically, but emotionally.

Why is that? 

One of the first bonds that we develop is with our caregiver. Children rely on them for comfort & safety.

In fact, the secure patterns that we develop are all about connection.eeds.” Full feeding allows your newborn to get the nourishment they need without losing a full night’s sleep.

Signs of Secure Attachment for Your Baby

Secure patterns are established when a caregiver is:

• Consistent

• Receptive

• Warm

• Calm 

A strong secure attachment can be created when a caregiver is highly responsive to their child’s cues.

For example, when you mirror your baby’s emotions (if they are sad or angry), that provides them with a basis for learning & connection.

Responding to Your Baby

The importance of a responsive & receptive caregiver is that they serve as the primary source of secure attachment.

Consistency is key here.

So, when you repeatedly demonstrate that you can serve as a source of comfort for your child, they will realize they can rely on you & will gain confidence.

Do I have an insecure relationship with my baby?

If a caregiver is not consistent with their emotional responses to situations, then the child will not rely on them.

This can happen if:

• A parent doesn’t regulate emotional response (calm one moment, anxious the next, etc.)

• A parent overreacts emotionally, like when giving praise (can overwhelm child)

Caregivers should be consistent with their emotions because that gives the child a way to develop relationship patterns.

Insecure Attachment Patterns in Parents and Babies

Insecure Attachment can lead to Insecure Attachment Patterns.

There are several types of insecure attachment patterns, including:

• Inconsistent

• Parent inability to regulate emotion

• Child finds close proximity overwhelming

• Child feels they can’t rely on caregiver

• Avoidant Experience

• Child buries feelings because response will be worse.

• Disorganized Attachment

• Caregiver becomes a source of distress

Responsive Caregiving

In the caregiver-child relationship, one of the main goals of secure attachment is to be in-sync.

In that dynamic, the parent’s nervous system should regulate that of the child.

The child should feel their emotions contained by the caregiver, not dis-regulated.

If a caregiver struggles to regulate their emotion, then the child will become confused & alert (Who do I go to for comfort, I can’t trust you, etc.).

Becoming A Secure Attachment Aficionado

As new moms, it’s natural that we want to be close to our newborns.

This is easier said than done, as there’s a lot of anxiety that comes with being a first-time mom. That’s why it’s important to show your baby they can rely on you.

As long as you’re consistent & receptive to your baby, you’ll build a strong connection in no time!

Ready for some awesome tips?

Check out episode 65 of the Learning to Mom Podcast, “Essential Steps For Creating a Secure Attachment with Your Baby from Eli Harwood.”